--- title: Men, What is Your Motive? description: Sometimes as husbands, we put in effort to help our wife. The question is, what is your motive? You might be helping out for the wrong reasons. image: https://www.isibrotherhood.com/hs-fs/file-2296570330-png/Images/Blog_Images/Men%2c_What_is_Your_Motive-.png --- [sdd](http://www.viewfromthetop.com/) # View from the Summit ## [Men, What is Your Motive?](https://www.isibrotherhood.com/viewfromthesummit/men-what-is-your-motive) Posted by [Aaron Walker](https://www.isibrotherhood.com/viewfromthesummit/author/aaron-walker) on Jan 5, 2015 5:00:00 AM - [Tweet](https://twitter.com/share) ![Men,_What_is_Your_Motive-](https://www.isibrotherhood.com/hs-fs/file-2296570330-png/Images/Blog_Images/Men%2c_What_is_Your_Motive-.png?width=900&name=Men%2c_What_is_Your_Motive-.png) Many years ago I would work tirelessly around the house helping Robin with various tasks and I was relentless with to-do list. Quite honestly, all for the wrong reason. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to help but I wanted to be noticed more. When all my efforts went unnoticed or unappreciated, I sulked. I wanted those words of affirmation or recognition that I felt was due and payable. I wanted to be viewed as a great husband by Robin and I wanted to feel as though my dues were being paid.  ---   One day after I had busted my butt doing countless tasks, I went down my usual path of looking for great praise and admiration. Walking through the den Robin stopped me and ask about my sour attitude? *Well, I'm glad you ask.* For the next 5 minutes I spent every second [recounting](http://blog.viewfromthetop.com/blog/over-communicate) my well documented list of completed chores. Patiently she stood and listened, trying to understand where in the world this childlike tirade was coming from. Finally, after I completed the list she simply ask, ***"Are you helping me to be noticed or are you helping me because I need the help?"*** The honest truth, I wanted to be noticed and I was mostly trying to clear my own conscience for not helping on a regular basis. Now, after many years of experience I have come to realize that a [healthy partnership takes teamwork](http://blog.viewfromthetop.com/blog/five-things-about-being-a-good-partner-in-an-intimate-relationship), not showmanship. --- A lot of men, including myself, have other intentions and expectations in mind for their reward at the conclusion of their household chores. Let me be the first to remind all men that [intimacy starts in the morning](http://blog.viewfromthetop.com/blog/what-a-privilege-it-is-to-be-the-patriarch), when you're helping your wife make up the bed, taking out the trash and helping get the children ready for school. During Life and Business Coaching I attempt to share a few tips and tidbits that can prevent you from repeating many of my personal errors. Have you ever experienced similar experiences in your marriage? What is your motive? What tip can you offer that might help others? Please, comment here. Live on purpose, *Aaron* --- [![Recommended reading book list business men](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/417143/de3ef63a-7773-4a0f-903d-a39e192dfd84.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/417143/de3ef63a-7773-4a0f-903d-a39e192dfd84)     Topics: [Motivation](https://www.isibrotherhood.com/viewfromthesummit/topic/motivation), [Coaching](https://www.isibrotherhood.com/viewfromthesummit/topic/coaching), [Marriage](https://www.isibrotherhood.com/viewfromthesummit/topic/marriage), [Family](https://www.isibrotherhood.com/viewfromthesummit/topic/family) ## [![v](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/417143/b853a945-b1cb-4792-bf63-90672b81b100.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/417143/b853a945-b1cb-4792-bf63-90672b81b100) ### Subscribe to Email Updates [![25 questions every man should answer to go from success to significance](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/417143/4028023d-111b-4ac3-95f5-9ce51a8cb8d3.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/417143/4028023d-111b-4ac3-95f5-9ce51a8cb8d3) ### Recent Posts [![The Steps for Men to have a more productive day](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/417143/f3284309-9ae7-46b8-8071-015d3ea3775e.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/417143/f3284309-9ae7-46b8-8071-015d3ea3775e) . ### Posts by Topic - 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